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Cheap, annoying, bull-headed bastard!

The ending was perfect! Everything was tied up, the story was finished, the lines were drawn it was everything it needed to be, and YOU! You, you BASTARD continues it?! Asshole!



Needed to react for a little bit.

In the odd chance Mead is reading, sorry. I am a proponent of the right of artists and writers to not give a shit about their fans and write what they actually want to write and not what they feel they need to write to please the fans, but I needed to react for a bit. If you want to continue, then all the more power to you, but this is like keep rolling the dice after you've tripled your winnings. It's unnecessarily risky and bold to continue the story after everything came together.

For those of you who don't read 'Judy is Dead, AU', the last I heard of it was Nick died after saving July's life, and possibly reuniting with Judy beyond the grave. I felt this was a perfect stop for the story, because Nick had achieved his catharsis with July, he'd let go in a sense of all the things he'd been holding in, and it was time for him to rest. Still, I kept seeing Spanish updates in my fan art stream, which I at first just thought was the translators catching up with the thing, but I decided to check it out. Two new chapters - one seemingly pointless scene of July talking about the captain with Clawhauser's daughter, and one where Nick telling Judy there was still so much to do in Zootropolis and he was finally "ready to live" for the first time in years, and returning back to life. They're as well-written and interesting as the earlier chapters, but I have to question the decision to continue the story after every relevant thread of it was tied up. Especially considering the 'Partners' chapter have absolutely no relevance whatsoever.
Still, it is very early and it's possible it will become a relevant base to further the story - I don't know, let's see. Mead is obviously a talented author and in all likelihood knows what he's doing, but it's a very odd thing to do and may blow up in their face, because they need to excel themselves massively to make it work.

Continuing this strange disturbance of rhythm where I handle the fan art section first, :iconspintherella: continues turning out tree trunks of pages despite being in school as well. :) Must have started drawing when she was six or something. :shakefist: Personal jealousy peeves aside, story keeps being unpredictable. I was fairly sure Judy wouldn't immediately have a clue thrown in her face that her sister may have had something to do with the attack and I'm curious where she - Spintherella -'ll be going with it. Also, kudos for reffing Bogo and Clawhauser's relationship, and self-mocking observations (she had a character wear a jacket saying "Spintherella is lazy").

VisiTi is back briefly, but to be honest I've largely lost interest, especially considering it's not a proper story bit but just half a joke where Nick's mom says he's better in bed than his father. It's a long way from as read-worthy as the original 15 page 'Regret' comic when, for no clear reason Nick slept with his mom after straightening his life out and then she becomes pregnant and they need to deal with that nauseating cyclone of emotional abuse.

I thought I'd quickly mention some pencil comic called 'Hybrid Test'. Most cases I hold as much derision for Zootropolis porn as any other self-respecting fan artist, but I am strangely interested in seeing where the creator is going with it. It's not deep or have much of the original Zootropolis feel, but there is something about it which very much intrigues me. The best way I could describe it is I see potential in it. Whoever is making it is clearly not established or 100% sure in their craft and don't fully understand characters or story, but it feels like they have a grip about the cliff and could become someone very well respected in the trade.
Speaking of, if someone does like Zootropolis porn I recommend my buddy :iconhattonslayden:'s 7 page folio "Dark Romance". On a character inversion level it doesn't get more depraved than Judy Hopps and Albert Wesker making loving love love in evening sun radiance, but I think it's among the most respectful porn I've seen with any character from the movie, and no one can argue the art is not fantastic.

Now, this is one I've been looking forward to. Nick Wilde as a hardened body guard and Judy Hopps as a idealistic and serious lawyer in a Zootropolis controlled by foxes. It's so cheesy but takes itself so seriously I can't help but squeal like a little girl. :D It's like one of the early, alternative versions of the film!
"- On one paw Zootopia is a jewel of a city. The streets are filled with every species living together in harmony - except for bunnies of course - with buildings that are tall and magnificent... A true testament to what happens when we all learn to play nice with each other. Everyone walks around, trying to remain unnoticed or trying to be noticed more than everyone else. Money is made, smiles exchanged, jobs worked and the system goes on without a hitch. On the other paw...you have the reality of the city. It is a dark, dangerous place. That is the part of the city you'll be walking into, Fluff. The part where people will call you cute, and actually mean it as the derogatory term that it is. They may do it behind your back, or right up in your face with a grin, and those that grin will expect you to react. Expect you to focus yourself on that tiny, insignificant little detail so that you would lose sight on why you're entering the foxes den at all. And once you lose focus because you can't even get past the use of one word...the city will eat you."
:la:
Points for 'Zootopia Sundrance';
- The art is bleak but it shifts tone depending on the mood and it's reminiscent of the film, both in how the characters look and how it's presented. Much like the film you feel like Nick and Judy are human-sized.
- It's Sin City with cutesy animals.
- The concept seems thought of in all haste, but it is thought through to a degree I'm envious of.
- None of the characters remind of the film - it's like they've all grown up - but their basic essences remain, with Judy as a naive idealist and Nick as a disaffected crook.
Points against 'Zootopia Sundrance';
- In a city controlled by foxes the judge is Dawn Bellwhether - sheep.

I like 'Zootopia Sundrance'. :)

Let's move on to the bit no one is interested in. :D

It's been an odd week. I stand by my taking responsibility for my work instead of using a schedule as a crutch, but it's starting to occur to me what's actually meant by doing that. Three days last week I wasn't able to work on either writing or art and decided to make up for it by working all day on Friday. I managed almost a page (worthless measurement, I know) in an hour, and then I stared on the screen for another three. Tried the same thing on friday, by working for one hour, break, and then work again. I got less done, but I didn't feel drained while working and blame it more on being unused on demanding I write for that long. Art-wise I've been on a standstill essentially, because I've stopped caring about the illustration at the moment and only scratched at it to be able to tell myself I wasn't letting my potential rot. Working through apathy is like weightlifting for my brain - I don't want to, see no reason to, and it just hurts.
Anyway, I was taking advice from various authors on how to write for an entire day, and it was from them I got the advice to split my writing up in pieces over the day. What I did was I realised I wasn't sure what I was doing and needed help, and sought it out. Further on I realised for the past several weeks I've been able to say to myself I have been working and that argument against not working wasn't working anymore, and I didn't actually want to work. I trusted myself and let go of stuff - it wasn't the first thing I needed to do, it wasn't world-crushingly important, I wasn't being neglectful, I just did not want to work for a while. And I spent a large part of the day playing video games, with a set time to get back to work, and so far it has been working brilliantly. I feel good and I'm getting stuff done.
What taking responsibility means is not forcing myself to do something I don't want to do just because it seems like I need to. It means I decide what I should do and how I should best achieve that, and know when not to work as much as how I should get my best work done. I trust myself to know what I should do and to find out if I don't, and knowing what I want to do and I feel confident to also do it.
It's liberating in a sense, to know I can decide to slack off for a while and be confident I will get back to work later, or at the very least I don't feel anxious about it. It feels a bit weird and apprehensive, but it works I think.

14441223 1163237800411336 8143006232186954122 N by IchorData
Yup, I'm showing you this finished one. Mainly because I have stopped caring about it and am just happy it's over, because I want to throw it
away and do another illustration for its bit of the story. Not sure what yet, but I just know this is not it. That, and my phone camera is stupid,
so it just comes out blurry.

14469527 1163237780411338 4316429615576849333 N by IchorData
Just look at the mess I made of my face. Especially annoying considering before I enforced the lines I actually made a brilliant job of it.
Honest!
:D

I should explain, this bit has nothing to do with the above picture. This is something new I'm working on.

-

   There was all too many extraordinary parts to the story, it made it too difficult to stand back and take it in. Like an ocean that fell down from the sky and covered everything, till no mammal inside of Zootropolis or perhaps beyond could get a clear view of what was happening. Four seperate city blocks had all suffered extensive damages in a unexplainable explosion downtown. A concrete bunker seemed to just materialize from thin air, and an alien that stumbled out, naked and dazed, was sent to a hospital and then immediately into policce custody as a small army of the same aliens stormed the same hospital before they all vanished. Occasional sightings of the lone alien, escorted by the now most well-known police officer in the city - Maurin Fang - in small pizza places in the Rain forest district, and rumors of the army squating in at least three different condemned buildings in Sahara Square, a new one every hour, and the police brutalising the doors to every one.
    It would seem like a reporter's dream for something like this to fall into their laps, that they could just reach out their hand and gouge a scoop out of thin air, but going back to the comparison of an ocean all of them were on the same boat with the same ladle to sift through the same muddled waters. The proverbial flood wave struck every part of the city differently, so all of them had something unique to tell the world of, but all they could do was report in to the stations and hope the anchors picked their piece of the pie.
    They'd need something like finding this "army's" hideout or an interview with the lone one that would explain everything to certainly make a career from all this, or at least cause a stir in the chaos. Many were trying to get in contact with officer Fang or wrangle their tame pack of eyes in the walls to spot her so they could ambush her and the alien. Judith Grazer wasn't as ambitious but she hoped one of them would succeed, so she and every other mammal in the city  could finally get an idea of what is going on. Her coworkers and she were all as confused and uncertain as the rest of the public, but she'd seen them in the briefing room and she felt like she was the only one that was still in shock, and scared about going out to the scenes of the incidents. There was a minor exodus out of Sahara square in fear of the army supposedly hiding somewhere in there. With most of the police force busy searching through Sahara square looters were seizing their chances downtown. A team of explorers in hazard suits were getting ready to explore the bunker in the catastrophe area. Even in the outskirts of Meadows reports were coming in of predators too afraid to leave their houses for mobs of sheep gathering outside to harass them. All across the city order was breaking down, but she hadn't seen another face that looked as worried as she felt.
    She wondered, in the back of her head as she helped putting a camera back in the newscaster van, if it was a way of dealing with it - to just do their job without thinking about it, even as every shade of misfortune stared them in the face, or if they were really happy for a truly big story to work on. Reporters like to nurture a reputation of being jaded, but this was Zootropolis, not a war zone or unevolved nation - there was nothing to be jaded by here. The thought made her shudder and her legs twitch.
    Sternly she planted her hoof back on the asphalt with a click and closed the back door of the van. She was a regular sprinter, like many other antelopes, and the chemical cocktail of anxiety, uncertainty and fear made her legs like two triggers twitching to go off. She could only thank her lucky star she had been assigned  to report on the lootings in a cornered off area on the outskirts of Sahara Square. Far down the road police interceptors stood like thick, low walls to guard the crime scene from any trespassers, and their towers stirred the shadows like blenders atop their roofs. It wasn't much of a crime scene, just a quick raid by a pack of hooded vandals on a small electronics store, and in light of everything that had happened the street was close to empty anyway, but as long as they were not needed elsewhere two cars would stand guard across the road on either side of the store. There'd been a third car earlier, when Judith was still in front of the camera, reporting in a small segment lamenting the sad tragedy affecitng small time businesses wherever the police weren't and what it said about the public, that almost seemed unrelated to the events downtown. The white, blue and red flashes from its towers traversing the storefront and the officers looking for clues on the other side of the shattered window had enforced the sense it was indeed a tragedy and not neglect on the force's part. The car and officers had since left, leaving her to interview the victims, and now all but her and her cameraman, Porky Quill remained.
  • Listening to: Emilie Autumn - Across the Sky
  • Watching: QI
  • Eating: Chili con carne tacos
  • Drinking: milk
I just wish I'd figured it out earlier than thursday this week.

Through a lot of thinking and talking to people around me I realised it's not just irresponsible and childish but also harmful for me to insist on compromising my entire creative output to a six hour schedule following every school day, where I never did more than an hour and a half on everything I did. In my head I kept comparing it to chipping away at a mountain, and I would never make any noteworthy impact on anything if I kept it up. So I decided to start taking some real responsibility for myself, put a lot of trust in myself by every day deciding what I should work on, and work on it until I tire and then break for a while and work on something else. That way I work on what always matters the most, and I will make very real, noticeable impacts in what matters the most.

And I know some of you out there are going, "uh~h, why didn' you do that right away then?". Because I am Swedish, and we are taught from an early age that we are taken care of and never learn to handle the stress, pressure and difficulty in taking responsibility. Is what I'd like to say, but getting back to responsibility, it's because I had and have difficulty realising these things myself. I have been thinking about it for a long while, but I didn't think I was ready until now, when it became necessary for me.

So what have happened during the week? In ZnZ, not much. Like I said, I decided to own up to myself at the thursday, and the most important thing for me to get done by then was a lyrics video I'd been commissioned, to which I'll link here on DA, along with the artwork I made for it, when it's released. I spent thursday and friday on that, because I got into my head the deadline was in just two weeks and I wanted to start working on the next video I'd been commissioned, so it was important for it to get done. Unfortunately come saturday it turned out the deadline is actually the end of October, so I'd been stressing for nothing. Saturday I mostly spent writing on ZnZ and trying to gouge some work into the illustration I'm doing for the story, which feels completely dead and I'm debating whether to throw it to the side or finishing it. Today I've mostly been focusing on figuring out some travel arrangements - I'll probably be spending October 13th to 17th in London, visiting museums and the BFI Film Festival - and trying to figure out how to model in DAZ and Blender for a to-the-side porn comic I'll be using :iconhattonslayden:'s techniques for perspective and scale on. After finishing this up I'll eat and then give the dead drawing another whirl and try to finish it today.

No purdy pictures today, sorry about that but I want to get shit done and not worry too much about the details. I hope you see the potential of the latest draft instead.

---

Erik looked it down and up, from its appalling head, along its neck, across the tight white collar sticking up above a blue police jacket, with its tooth-pick-like arms hanging down beside the deep blue pants, which hung like flag seams along legs as tall Erik from head to toe, down to two cloven feet that reminded Erik of close-ups he'd seen of a spider's mouth. Large white lines made a pattern of somewhat geometric, cancer-like dark plates on the thin fur of the thick, esophagus-like neck, which rooted itself thinly between the sides of its pronounced jaw bone, so the head looked like a hat hanging on top of a flag pole. Its torso looked like it belonged to a large man, with clothes made to scale for one, only all his limbs had been obscenely pulled out like chewing gum ("nutritious" chewing gum is given out as food replacement, so Erik knows what it is), longer and thinner by the centimetre until they hung like broken off sticks from a oak trunk, with joints that stuck out in a way that made it look emaciated despite the evidently powerful muscles Erik had seen work as it threw the "boar" into the truck. Its legs were no different, save for the flat, wing-like thighs leading down to a kneecap like a knot on a branch, becoming a thin stick Erik felt would break under what must be a massive bodyweight at any moment. Its two feet lay flat against the ground with no room to spare, in a way that made them seem planted into the ground,  like thick roots, partly shielded by thick, cockroach-like shell. Erik had stopped questioning these thing's refusal to wear footwear and wasn't even fascinated by it anymore, and in some odd way he was becoming more accepting of the things he saw in this place, but the Giraffe was still something memorable. He looked back up to its face.
   Erik should have looked away from it but his eyes grabbed on to it and wouldn't let go, studying it like a grotesque statue, even as its eyes were slowly wrinkling and its strangely long lips thinning as it pressed them together. Maurin called out.

- Hey! This way.

It occured to Erik the way the Giraffe's face was scrounging up might mean something concerning him staring at it, at about the same time as Maurin let him know  she was vanishing. His eyes let go of the animal and he turned behind him to where Maurin had been a moment ago, vanished like pamphlet in the wind to a long distance away, down a wide corridor of crates, oil drums tool boxes, desks and wheels large enough to run her over. She didn't do that jittery run he'd seen her do but walked upright on her two small hind legs with her rope-stump tal waving from side to side with every step. Erik suddenly felt very exposed, like a cool drop in warm water and pulled after her. He looked over his back to see the Graffe accusingly changing its pose, and he hurried up to Maurin. She of course wouldn't be much help against something easily a hundred times taller than her, but it seemed safer to be near her than alone in this place.
Maurin looked at him over her shoulder when he neared her and then nonchalantly turned back ahead before Erik could slow his step down. Part of him expected her to let him walk ahead of her and he was surprised when she didn't slow her step to let him by. His strides were longer than her's and he had to slow to a shuffle  to not pass her. He had to hold himself back but she wasn't concerned in the slightest, she led him like a dog and didn't feel the need to push him like a prisoner. His body was boiling at her arrogance and wanted to walk calmly ahead of her and force her to keep up, but he remembered this place as much as he did the back of the truck, among uniforms staring him down from marble pillars.
The place was a massive loading bay combined with an office and a garage as far as Erikc could tell. Along three of the far-away walls of the massive space black and white vehicles that looked like a cross between trucks and animals, mirroring the creatures themselves, stood parked. From the forth wall the floor they stood on rose up a few decimeters off the ground, a humongous concrete island surrounded by asphalt loaded with crates, desks, various motor parts, tools and here and there along its edges trucks were in various stages of service, unloading or loading. Between all of these things Erik felt there were two few of the creatures there. Most were flocking around or beneath the trucks, fiddling with mechanics or checking pressures, but among the crates there seemed to be too few creatures.   A humongous, white-furred creature discussing shipping manifests with a wolf in a bark grey mechanics jumpsuit, until the wolf noticed Erik looking and turned from the huge beast to stare at him.
  • Listening to: Emilie Autumn - Across the Sky
  • Watching: QI
  • Eating: Chili con carne tacos
  • Drinking: milk
Halo of Vultures by IchorData
Halo of Vultures
Inspired by a song I really like which I unfortunately can't talk about.

All in all I think it turned out pretty well, but that shadow is a disgrace.

I was going for a combination of the sun pressing down and the shadow pulling down, but I didn't manage it at all I think.
Loading...
I mean why am I doing this? For a non-existent audience that doesn't care? For the nobility of being able to say I did a good day's work? I don't know. I do know I am not achieving anywhere near what I think I should on ZnZ and I'm starting to doubt if it's worth to continue. Everything I do seems to be self-destructive in some way. If I work on an illustration I'm neglecting the writing, and vice versa, and don't get me started on the days when all I can do is stare at the screen or paper when nothing comes up, and I know I only have an hour and twenty minutes every day to write on it without neglecting any of the other things I need to do.

I think it's understandable if I give up and just say goodbye to it all and just lay it down in some box somewhere for me to one day discover when I'm clearing out the crap from my storage an d stop saying just all the time you stupid cow. You'd think I could get some proper work done on the weekends but I don't and I don't know what holds me up because I do want to. It all feels so pathetic and useless compared to what used to be. I think it's habit more than anything that keeps me going but I'm starting to question how healthy this is for me. I'm not eating right anymore, I skip meals, I am not taking care of myself, all because I need to prioritise all my work, not just ZnZ, higher than I do any of my other responsibilities, like keeping my kitchen free of mold and rot or changing clothes or showering.

I just want an out so I can feel good and keep making this. It is more important for me than just feeling good. I want to make this. I have to remember that whenever I question what the point of all this is, because otherwise it's just self-destruction. I'm not killing myself, I'm hurting because I want something more than I want to feel good. It'd be empty and pointless, and I could just live as another salary slave, working for the pleasure of watching TV when I get home from work or the sensuousness of a decent meal or just soft, cool sheets at the end of the day. It's not just finishing ZnZ, it's just my art in general. I want to create and move forwards and delve into it to see what I can create and improve and I think I'm starting to grow lofty and disconnected and lie to myself here. Fuck all that half-pious stuff, but I want this more than feel good.

A while ago I was commissioned to make a lyric video for an underground band I like. The song is about self-harm and part of the video is making a pretty picture, and in order to make that I needed to find some references. As I was browsing through minor scratch wounds  and empathy pictures I stumbled on the old tumblr photos of Coldnessinmyheart. Don't click that if you have a weak heart. As I was watching those photos I felt liberated in a sense, like I could see a bit of what I felt like. Of course I don't feel as hurt or disfigured as her inside, and I don't have any desire to carve my legs up with a knife, but when I watched those photos my inside stilled somehow. I felt cold, but it was so calm and fresh, like I'd been in an oppressive heat and walked onto a mountain top in the night. It was peaceful and somehow it made my hurt okay. I could never call the things she did to herself artworks but somehow I saw a bit of myself in that, the way I hurt and keep hurting myself in order to show something important inside of me for the world. That's not how self-harm works and I sound like an ignorant waste for comparing destroying yourself to drawing cutesy animals, I am aware, but it's what I felt when I saw those pictures. I'd like to make some proper art with them as inspiration but I don't think I will, but I needed to say what those images made me feel in some way.

Back to the world of fan art.

For a while now I've kept thinking not much has been updated in the world of fan art, for example it's been a while since I saw :iconspintherella: update Inter Schminter, but there seems to be a trigger set to those thoughts, because when I looked this morning I found I think seven updates to the various stories I've taken enough interest in, but only three worth to mention.

Beginning with Mead's "Judy is Dead AU", I was correct in what I said last week about all that was left was the end, and it was as unsatisfying as I expected last week. I like the little nod to the fans discussing the story of Nick and Judy/July's relationship and how little they do affect the outcome, but I question the idea of Heaven being a wheat field where Judy is still working as a farm girl. It could of course just be how Nick envisioned it as he died, all innocence and simple pleasures, and he did dream of him and Judy beneath a tree on a summer's day, but I wanted it said. Still, it was beautiful, and I will dedicate this story accordingly.
"Judy's flown away,
Dreamt the world far away
In this cruel children's game
There's one friend to call her name
Nick, he flies away,
Dreams the world far away
The good in them will be my sun flower field."


Mead, if you resume this story I will hunt you down and draw you as an ugly stick man.

There's also been another picture added to 'This is What True Love Looks Like', which is just as much feels porn as earlier. Little Judy kit hugging Nick's finger, they're so small and non-bunny-word... :aww: The thing is while it is really cool in terms of art it also develops so slowly I don't have much to say on it.
What I'd like to talk about is this little abhorrence of a parody it's spawned. I'm not sure what this fan art of fan art is called, but it's black comedy of the finest sort, where Judy talks about how she's only going to keep one kid because of her career while the rest will be adopted away, abandoned, and one not surviving the winter, and then convinces Nick to marry her by promising him frankly offensive sex acts until eventually he breaks. :XD: For all my condemnation of disrespecting the characters I couldn't read that and not laugh out loud over it. I'm Swedish, I love dark comedy and it hit all my buttons.

:iconwolfmarian: here on DA has this thing that is starting to become interesting now. I noticed it a long while ago but didn't really bother with it because it's been so predictable up to about this point, but I'm not entirely sure what will happen next and therefor it has become interesting. It's set in the collar version of Zootropolis, with Nick and Judy standing before carnivores and herbivores, trying to keep them separate, until Nick takes off his tame collar and is shot with a night howler pellet. I'll be keeping an eye on it from now on and see what develops.

Finally there is this very slice of life manga called 'The Mark', which I actually think is pretty poor, but it seems it's going to be fairly long, so someone is putting a lot of effort in it and that in itself has me curious. In essence someone is preying on women who are marked by a mate, and while that is happening Judy struggles with her feelings for Nick in a very Japanese stereotype way.

I think that's it, concerning my personal problems and what other people in the community are up to, and I might as well get on to what I have done during the week. 


14264932 1151867594881690 5975126963509679194 N by IchorData
This si the only finished piece I've done, and I'm not happy with it in the slightest. It could be a blueprint for something to come back to but as
it is this is where it stays. There's so much missing, the proportions are all wrong, the emotions are not caught, the perspective is off, plus
that list of things that are wrong I wrote down there, for any of you who speak Swedish and can be bothered to guess what it says.


14233183 1151867561548360 1113839996577091858 N by IchorData
More work on this one, but I'm still drawing a blank on his pants.

14212699 1151867618215021 2070882828109552263 N by IchorData
This is my greatest annoyance. Ninety percent of this I made in less than an hour, just going on feeling with no rules to consider, and then it
just stopped. I got up the gist of what I wanted to get up and then nothing. Then I stared at it for half an hour on Friday and drew that beam
in the background. Crap, shitting cock fuck.


Unfortunately I have nothing to show you in terms of literature this week. not because I haven't been working on it, but I have gotten nothing done because everything I wrote was crap so I had to start over all the time.
I'm sorry about that and I'll see you again next week.
It's really odd, but the simple fast is I don't. Checking my inbox, responding to comments, making my presence known in general, it used to be a really important part of my day, and now I just want to get shit done, tend to my basal needs and otherwise just sleep. It's pretty depressing, how my life seems to have degenerated like that just with school starting, and the overall feeling of never getting enough done. Actually it's more than a feeling, especially when it comes to ZnZ illustration. There I feel completely lost because half the time I don't know why I do the things I do other than for work's sake and to be able to say I did in fact care about this. Beyond that I promised myself I'd start making a bit of waves instead of just practising all the time, and start making my comics and stories and illustrations and let people know I exist. None of that I have barely started with yet. I just want to do the stuff I've set out for myself without question or contemplation and go to bed, where I want to stay the entire day.

I am doing things the wrong way if that's how I feel, I know that. The thing is I don't know what other way to do it beyond persevering.

Since Saturday I've reinstated the everlasting schedule, but shortened it down so I can have it on week days. I do ZnZ, but I choose between illustration or writing, not both, and I do anatomy, video editing, and a comic project I'm working on. It tends to last till 11:00pm, which doesn't leave much freedom, but I couldn't justify less work to myself.

Outside of my life, in the Zootropolis community, things have been more interesting and positive. For one thing, Mead is back with two new chapters to Judy is Dead AU, and that I appreciate. Especially considering the turn it's suddenly taken, when all the cards are on the table and catharsis has been reached.. That said it has a unsatisfactory feeling to it, like everything is in the clear and all that's left now is the ending, and to leave that out for another chapter, when Nick dies, feels very poor.

14224850 1146531325415317 3791831930548631844 N by IchorData
Just a bit of character design. Maurin isn't the only animal in Zootropolis after all.

14192697 1146531268748656 7719709051155447285 N by IchorData

14202489 1146531348748648 7834397847826796164 N by IchorData
Just need to figure out his fricking pants. Upper body I'm happy with but he
needs pants as well.

Now please enjoy this week's story draft for ZnZ. I have to say, from my standpoint this is starting to become interesting, the way I start discovering Zootropolis and all it has to offer. I still haven't stumbled on the innate nature of it though, so it's all still pretty boring.
-

   Feeling calm again he noticed the vehicle wasn't moving. The engine was still running but it was smooth and he couldn't feel his weight shift from side to side, and outside the light shining in had taken a weak yellow tone that reminded him of sickly puss swellings and rust. He grew cold when he saw the familiar shade. He floated up on brittle legs to the bars, and he saw the brown concrete roof and thick black wires running along the grey and yellow beams. The doors opened like a mouth to swallow him and he though for a moment a giant hand lifted the car up to tip it down into the waiting esophagus. Outside a brown, bestial swine with white, humongous canines rising from its lower jaw stood, immediately going from glaring to stare at him in shock. Erik couldn't take notice of much more than the orange sleeveless jumpsuit before a ridiculously tall yellow thing that looked like its arms, legs and neck had been stretched out like rubber and then let set, pushed the bulky brown creature inside the truck. Erik stepped back, further away from it with only the bars separating them while the thing turned outside and roared "That's that thing! That one, the one that trashed downtown!". Maurin jumped into the truck and up to the wall-mounted bar handle like a drop of water bouncing on a puddle's surface, and the bars swung open, making Erik take another step back. The swine continued.

- Dude, they collared you? On the first day, that's amazing!

The sentences dribbled out of its mouth as it mastikated every word and the white horn-like teeth danced in the darkness as the disgusting brown snout moved and waved excitedly, and the eyes gleamed between mirth and fascination.

- What're they calling it? Destruction of property? Disorderly conduct?  You flew the spaceship without a license?

Erik was afraid of the thing and wouldn't move. "Hey, Oscifer! Perp to the wall!" Maurin shouted to the thing outside, and the long, spindly arm that had held the swine without Erik noticing pulled it up against the wall with a thud.

- Hey! Police brutality! I'm gonna sue you for that you huge noodle!

Erik could see the tendons and muscles tense inside the thin arm, and it seemed to hold the thing surprisingly steadily against the wall. At least enough for him to start shuffling out the bars.

- Hey you! You're my witness! Come on, these pigs always hold each other by the back.

It started pressing its arms against the wall to get loose and Erik set off away from it like a bullet, stumbling out the truck when he turned to keep his eyes on the thing, and fell flat on the hard concrete floor.

- I'll represent you! Come on!

Erik coughed and tried to breathe as the doors closed above him. The fall had knocked the air from his lungs and he didn't notice exactly what happened. He looked up to see Maurin, standing bare decimeters from his face. He wondered if that frown had been etched into her features and rose up, looking after the truck as it drove away.

- What was that thing?

The car had driven out of a massive hangar-like door, up a steep asphalt incline. He looked around and that ill feeling he had earlier returned. It wasn't the same bunker as the one he'd briefly worried it was, but it still reminded him eerily of it.

- Thing?

Maurin didn't seem to understand, but Erik was too busy looking up at the ceiling to take notice. It was over-dimensioned like the warehouse with a irregular roof ten meters up in the air, and concrete beams running along the inside like an approximation of a esophagus. A network of cables, airducts and mountings ran maybe eight meters above their heads ran like a circuiboard above their heads.

- The one you threw in the truck.

Erik hadn't been bothered with her earlier, but now he could feel a silent annoyance radiate from her like heat, and he thought she should grow less sensitive.

- A boar.

Right then Erik turned to look into the huge green eyes of the yellow thing and he almost jumped back. Its head was framed by the spotlights in the roof that made it look all the more intimidating than its size.

- And that?

At first it had looked curious, in its ridiculous approximation of a human face, but now its eyelids fell together and it looked at him through a squint.

- A giraffe.

deviantID

IchorData
Real name: Classified by SÄPO.
Artist | Student | Traditional Art
Sweden
My real name is not Viktoria Rosén. Let's get that out of the way. All the implications of that I leave to you to figure out. All great artists have a stage name or an alter ego or a psuedonym, and that's mine.
I am not a great artist and I don't want to be one either for the very simple reason - artists are no better than orthodox religious people, from the nihilistic Buddhists to the inbred Creationists. I am here to become better at my Craft and document the process along the way as well as make a name for myself, but do not ever delude yourself into thinking I'm an artist. To be clear, I define an artist as someone who does something inteligent and mistakable for original in a creative way for his/her own sake without any kind of pragmatic reason, and since DA hardly has a single person matching that description I figure it's as good a place as any to start. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying there's anything wrong in being an artist, I'm just saying I don't want to be an artist because I find no satisfaction in that thinking.
I am here to develop and hone above all my ability as an illustrator - find my style, learn to work creatively, do it proficiently, which means I want criticism for all my work. What was good, what was bad, how you liked it.
The reason is I am developing the base for a longer series or of novels based in a futuristic Cthulhu cycle exploring themes of independence, religion, personality, power, evil and goodness, all set within a erotic sci-fi/fantasy drama called "Who Durst Defy", and while I am driven I am far from near being able to pull that off. That's the main reason why I want to hone my artistic ability, but more than that I have discovered I have a generally creative mind and feel good when I do creative things such as write or draw and I would rather do that than anything else the average drone's life has to offer. I don't want to do this to make money (I am not that stupid) but I want to get by on it one day.
Most obvious things you'll learn about me is I am a nyctophile, meaning I find alot more comfort in darkness than in light, and I am an anthropomorphile, a faculty term I've invented meaning "a strong, passionate, sexual as well as spiritual desire and/or connection to a entity defineable as more than human" but that does not mean I like Furry. Porn is one thing, a starved woman can't be a picker, but other than that I do not want any connection to Furry as a movement because I do not care for nor follow that style. I draw anthropomorphs, not furry, and there is a difference between the two. Anyone who claims anything different is either living in denial or plain ignorant. Yes, there are similarities, but it's like comparing wolves with those chihuahuas you see in handbags. I've thought a bit about what it is that seperate these two genre's and I think I've come up with a fairly good explanation of the differences between them. Before you read though, let me make it plain I have little against furries as such, I simply want it plain that what I draw isn't furries as such.



1. Furry is a part of Anthropomorphism, not the other way around.

Fred Patten, a historian born in 1940 who have been able to follow the evolution of the genre first-hand, claims it originated at a sci-fi convention in the 1980's, tough furries as we've come to know them has existed since much earlier in the 1900's (take Disney's Robin Hood for example). Anthropomorphism on the other hand is exceedingly much older than any of these examples, and much more diversified. Stories of human-like animals or animals with human minds and reasoning or humans with animalistic features can be found on every continent and in every culture. The Germanic werewolves, the Greek Minotaur, La Belle et la Bête, the Dove of the Old Testament, the Were-lions of Africa, these are just a few of the many.




2. Furries are without exception depicted in a cartoon- or manga style.

By this I mean furry artists generally don't bother with making realistic drawings, they're always stylized, and often in a manner similar to one-another. A common denominator is I have yet to see a furry artist bothering to draw fur, but simply making a field with a few "pointy edges" to give the character a feeling of having fur. If I am unclear as to what I mean with this, the works of Walt Disney, :iconjaynaylor:, Kadath, and :iconkaboozle: ought to clue you in. Now you may point out old depictions of for example werewolves, woodcuts and the like, have a smilar style, to which I say more often than not the entire depiction is given an even fur pattern, and when it's not it's often meant to depict shades, depth, light, et cetera. Another denominator is furries can give human facial expressions no matter how their faces are designed. Of course, animals can do expressions we can interpret as simimilar to our own and it can be argued that furries therefor can do them to, and I could let it slide should it be an expression not unrealistically exaggerated. On a sidenote, furries can pronounce human words and sounds which we know are impossible for animals to replicate with a snout for example.



3. Furries are unimaginative parodies of the entire concept of the borderline between human and animal.
This is probably the most offensive title of the argumentation for where furry ends and anthropomorphism begins but I can explain why it is also very accurate. The Furry fandom is very closed-off if you compare it to the rest of all that anthropomorhism can be. The word "Anthropomorphism" is actually a synonym for "personification" and it applies not just to animals, but everything. Everything not human with human-like features and capabilities is an anthropomorph. Death as a skeleton with a scythe in black robes is a anthropomorph and so is an Easterly wind depicted as a cherub blowing ships across the sea. But for now we'll focus on the animalistic. By "unimaginative" I mean furries are essentially completely human. The one thing seperating a furry and a human is its exotic body. More often than not furries can wear clothes, they can use machines, they have a human society, and they have a human capacity for reasoning and empathy. Anthropomorph's are supposed to be in-between human and animal, and that in itself opens a world of possibilities very rarely utilized in furry. Which brings me to "parody of the concept between human and animal". What I mean by parody is the mocking trivialization of the world of possibility that lie there. "Between human and animal...is a human with a nearly human body." It's almost disrespectful. Almost. Anthropomorph's are very rarely not meant to symbolize something, usually that humans are animals in one way or another, which we through-out history have been struggling hard to deny, or put a Devil's stamp on (take the vampire, which is essentially the embodiment of the deadly sins) but it can be so much more and often is.




4. Furries is not taken seriously.

There's a very good reason people mock Furry fandom - it has yet to be depicted in a way that can be taken seriously. You have to admit all in all furry can be split into three undergenre's - porn, childrens TV-series, and minor psuedo-drama's. Furry porn is not taken seriously because it's porn and while porn in itself is often mocked furry can all to easily be interpreted as "beastiality in denial". Kid's TV-series with furries is directed at a very distinct audience - kids. What we like as kids is very rare to like as adults because we are taught to put childish things behind us as we grow older because they're often clashing with reality, which we need to embrace if we are to function in society (we are taught). This I really blaim the most for furries not being taken seriously. Finally, what I mean by "psuedo-drama's" is a general drama that not only isn't very good, but could function just as well with humans as with furries, because all characters are essentially humans with fur. Anthropomorph's aren't taken very seriously either, but it is mocked to a much smaller degree than furries. I think the reason is because everything I have already argumented - anthropomorphic animals are in total percieved as more realistic in depiction as well as mentality and nature.

Of course, this is just a generalization and depictions of furry/anthropomorphism often cross these lines in one way or another. These are just a few rules of thumb that I have written down to help maintain the distinction.
-
"I'll never ask you to trust me, just listen to what I say."
- Viktoria Rosén
Interests
Cheap, annoying, bull-headed bastard!

The ending was perfect! Everything was tied up, the story was finished, the lines were drawn it was everything it needed to be, and YOU! You, you BASTARD continues it?! Asshole!



Needed to react for a little bit.

In the odd chance Mead is reading, sorry. I am a proponent of the right of artists and writers to not give a shit about their fans and write what they actually want to write and not what they feel they need to write to please the fans, but I needed to react for a bit. If you want to continue, then all the more power to you, but this is like keep rolling the dice after you've tripled your winnings. It's unnecessarily risky and bold to continue the story after everything came together.

For those of you who don't read 'Judy is Dead, AU', the last I heard of it was Nick died after saving July's life, and possibly reuniting with Judy beyond the grave. I felt this was a perfect stop for the story, because Nick had achieved his catharsis with July, he'd let go in a sense of all the things he'd been holding in, and it was time for him to rest. Still, I kept seeing Spanish updates in my fan art stream, which I at first just thought was the translators catching up with the thing, but I decided to check it out. Two new chapters - one seemingly pointless scene of July talking about the captain with Clawhauser's daughter, and one where Nick telling Judy there was still so much to do in Zootropolis and he was finally "ready to live" for the first time in years, and returning back to life. They're as well-written and interesting as the earlier chapters, but I have to question the decision to continue the story after every relevant thread of it was tied up. Especially considering the 'Partners' chapter have absolutely no relevance whatsoever.
Still, it is very early and it's possible it will become a relevant base to further the story - I don't know, let's see. Mead is obviously a talented author and in all likelihood knows what he's doing, but it's a very odd thing to do and may blow up in their face, because they need to excel themselves massively to make it work.

Continuing this strange disturbance of rhythm where I handle the fan art section first, :iconspintherella: continues turning out tree trunks of pages despite being in school as well. :) Must have started drawing when she was six or something. :shakefist: Personal jealousy peeves aside, story keeps being unpredictable. I was fairly sure Judy wouldn't immediately have a clue thrown in her face that her sister may have had something to do with the attack and I'm curious where she - Spintherella -'ll be going with it. Also, kudos for reffing Bogo and Clawhauser's relationship, and self-mocking observations (she had a character wear a jacket saying "Spintherella is lazy").

VisiTi is back briefly, but to be honest I've largely lost interest, especially considering it's not a proper story bit but just half a joke where Nick's mom says he's better in bed than his father. It's a long way from as read-worthy as the original 15 page 'Regret' comic when, for no clear reason Nick slept with his mom after straightening his life out and then she becomes pregnant and they need to deal with that nauseating cyclone of emotional abuse.

I thought I'd quickly mention some pencil comic called 'Hybrid Test'. Most cases I hold as much derision for Zootropolis porn as any other self-respecting fan artist, but I am strangely interested in seeing where the creator is going with it. It's not deep or have much of the original Zootropolis feel, but there is something about it which very much intrigues me. The best way I could describe it is I see potential in it. Whoever is making it is clearly not established or 100% sure in their craft and don't fully understand characters or story, but it feels like they have a grip about the cliff and could become someone very well respected in the trade.
Speaking of, if someone does like Zootropolis porn I recommend my buddy :iconhattonslayden:'s 7 page folio "Dark Romance". On a character inversion level it doesn't get more depraved than Judy Hopps and Albert Wesker making loving love love in evening sun radiance, but I think it's among the most respectful porn I've seen with any character from the movie, and no one can argue the art is not fantastic.

Now, this is one I've been looking forward to. Nick Wilde as a hardened body guard and Judy Hopps as a idealistic and serious lawyer in a Zootropolis controlled by foxes. It's so cheesy but takes itself so seriously I can't help but squeal like a little girl. :D It's like one of the early, alternative versions of the film!
"- On one paw Zootopia is a jewel of a city. The streets are filled with every species living together in harmony - except for bunnies of course - with buildings that are tall and magnificent... A true testament to what happens when we all learn to play nice with each other. Everyone walks around, trying to remain unnoticed or trying to be noticed more than everyone else. Money is made, smiles exchanged, jobs worked and the system goes on without a hitch. On the other paw...you have the reality of the city. It is a dark, dangerous place. That is the part of the city you'll be walking into, Fluff. The part where people will call you cute, and actually mean it as the derogatory term that it is. They may do it behind your back, or right up in your face with a grin, and those that grin will expect you to react. Expect you to focus yourself on that tiny, insignificant little detail so that you would lose sight on why you're entering the foxes den at all. And once you lose focus because you can't even get past the use of one word...the city will eat you."
:la:
Points for 'Zootopia Sundrance';
- The art is bleak but it shifts tone depending on the mood and it's reminiscent of the film, both in how the characters look and how it's presented. Much like the film you feel like Nick and Judy are human-sized.
- It's Sin City with cutesy animals.
- The concept seems thought of in all haste, but it is thought through to a degree I'm envious of.
- None of the characters remind of the film - it's like they've all grown up - but their basic essences remain, with Judy as a naive idealist and Nick as a disaffected crook.
Points against 'Zootopia Sundrance';
- In a city controlled by foxes the judge is Dawn Bellwhether - sheep.

I like 'Zootopia Sundrance'. :)

Let's move on to the bit no one is interested in. :D

It's been an odd week. I stand by my taking responsibility for my work instead of using a schedule as a crutch, but it's starting to occur to me what's actually meant by doing that. Three days last week I wasn't able to work on either writing or art and decided to make up for it by working all day on Friday. I managed almost a page (worthless measurement, I know) in an hour, and then I stared on the screen for another three. Tried the same thing on friday, by working for one hour, break, and then work again. I got less done, but I didn't feel drained while working and blame it more on being unused on demanding I write for that long. Art-wise I've been on a standstill essentially, because I've stopped caring about the illustration at the moment and only scratched at it to be able to tell myself I wasn't letting my potential rot. Working through apathy is like weightlifting for my brain - I don't want to, see no reason to, and it just hurts.
Anyway, I was taking advice from various authors on how to write for an entire day, and it was from them I got the advice to split my writing up in pieces over the day. What I did was I realised I wasn't sure what I was doing and needed help, and sought it out. Further on I realised for the past several weeks I've been able to say to myself I have been working and that argument against not working wasn't working anymore, and I didn't actually want to work. I trusted myself and let go of stuff - it wasn't the first thing I needed to do, it wasn't world-crushingly important, I wasn't being neglectful, I just did not want to work for a while. And I spent a large part of the day playing video games, with a set time to get back to work, and so far it has been working brilliantly. I feel good and I'm getting stuff done.
What taking responsibility means is not forcing myself to do something I don't want to do just because it seems like I need to. It means I decide what I should do and how I should best achieve that, and know when not to work as much as how I should get my best work done. I trust myself to know what I should do and to find out if I don't, and knowing what I want to do and I feel confident to also do it.
It's liberating in a sense, to know I can decide to slack off for a while and be confident I will get back to work later, or at the very least I don't feel anxious about it. It feels a bit weird and apprehensive, but it works I think.

14441223 1163237800411336 8143006232186954122 N by IchorData
Yup, I'm showing you this finished one. Mainly because I have stopped caring about it and am just happy it's over, because I want to throw it
away and do another illustration for its bit of the story. Not sure what yet, but I just know this is not it. That, and my phone camera is stupid,
so it just comes out blurry.

14469527 1163237780411338 4316429615576849333 N by IchorData
Just look at the mess I made of my face. Especially annoying considering before I enforced the lines I actually made a brilliant job of it.
Honest!
:D

I should explain, this bit has nothing to do with the above picture. This is something new I'm working on.

-

   There was all too many extraordinary parts to the story, it made it too difficult to stand back and take it in. Like an ocean that fell down from the sky and covered everything, till no mammal inside of Zootropolis or perhaps beyond could get a clear view of what was happening. Four seperate city blocks had all suffered extensive damages in a unexplainable explosion downtown. A concrete bunker seemed to just materialize from thin air, and an alien that stumbled out, naked and dazed, was sent to a hospital and then immediately into policce custody as a small army of the same aliens stormed the same hospital before they all vanished. Occasional sightings of the lone alien, escorted by the now most well-known police officer in the city - Maurin Fang - in small pizza places in the Rain forest district, and rumors of the army squating in at least three different condemned buildings in Sahara Square, a new one every hour, and the police brutalising the doors to every one.
    It would seem like a reporter's dream for something like this to fall into their laps, that they could just reach out their hand and gouge a scoop out of thin air, but going back to the comparison of an ocean all of them were on the same boat with the same ladle to sift through the same muddled waters. The proverbial flood wave struck every part of the city differently, so all of them had something unique to tell the world of, but all they could do was report in to the stations and hope the anchors picked their piece of the pie.
    They'd need something like finding this "army's" hideout or an interview with the lone one that would explain everything to certainly make a career from all this, or at least cause a stir in the chaos. Many were trying to get in contact with officer Fang or wrangle their tame pack of eyes in the walls to spot her so they could ambush her and the alien. Judith Grazer wasn't as ambitious but she hoped one of them would succeed, so she and every other mammal in the city  could finally get an idea of what is going on. Her coworkers and she were all as confused and uncertain as the rest of the public, but she'd seen them in the briefing room and she felt like she was the only one that was still in shock, and scared about going out to the scenes of the incidents. There was a minor exodus out of Sahara square in fear of the army supposedly hiding somewhere in there. With most of the police force busy searching through Sahara square looters were seizing their chances downtown. A team of explorers in hazard suits were getting ready to explore the bunker in the catastrophe area. Even in the outskirts of Meadows reports were coming in of predators too afraid to leave their houses for mobs of sheep gathering outside to harass them. All across the city order was breaking down, but she hadn't seen another face that looked as worried as she felt.
    She wondered, in the back of her head as she helped putting a camera back in the newscaster van, if it was a way of dealing with it - to just do their job without thinking about it, even as every shade of misfortune stared them in the face, or if they were really happy for a truly big story to work on. Reporters like to nurture a reputation of being jaded, but this was Zootropolis, not a war zone or unevolved nation - there was nothing to be jaded by here. The thought made her shudder and her legs twitch.
    Sternly she planted her hoof back on the asphalt with a click and closed the back door of the van. She was a regular sprinter, like many other antelopes, and the chemical cocktail of anxiety, uncertainty and fear made her legs like two triggers twitching to go off. She could only thank her lucky star she had been assigned  to report on the lootings in a cornered off area on the outskirts of Sahara Square. Far down the road police interceptors stood like thick, low walls to guard the crime scene from any trespassers, and their towers stirred the shadows like blenders atop their roofs. It wasn't much of a crime scene, just a quick raid by a pack of hooded vandals on a small electronics store, and in light of everything that had happened the street was close to empty anyway, but as long as they were not needed elsewhere two cars would stand guard across the road on either side of the store. There'd been a third car earlier, when Judith was still in front of the camera, reporting in a small segment lamenting the sad tragedy affecitng small time businesses wherever the police weren't and what it said about the public, that almost seemed unrelated to the events downtown. The white, blue and red flashes from its towers traversing the storefront and the officers looking for clues on the other side of the shattered window had enforced the sense it was indeed a tragedy and not neglect on the force's part. The car and officers had since left, leaving her to interview the victims, and now all but her and her cameraman, Porky Quill remained.
  • Listening to: Emilie Autumn - Across the Sky
  • Watching: QI
  • Eating: Chili con carne tacos
  • Drinking: milk

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:iconfabiolistrani:
FabioListrani Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the watch! :D ...have a nice weekend! :ahoy:
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:iconichordata:
IchorData Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you and you're welcome. It's a fascinating style to me, the way you only seem to use computer models without painting them over. It makes them look like stills from a game or, as thumbnails, movie posters with a somewhat art nouveu feel to them. Also, they look a bit like certain romantic paintings I've seen, and to get that traditional feel from something as modern as CG is very interesting.
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:iconthewolfcreek:
thewolfcreek Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the fav...
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:iconichordata:
IchorData Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
You're welcome.
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:icongusavancini:
gusavancini Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2015  Professional Photographer
Thanks for the fave :)
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:iconichordata:
IchorData Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
You're welcome.
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:iconvesssel:
vesssel Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2015
Thanks for the fave! Feel free to check out my Facebook page for more art. :D
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:iconichordata:
IchorData Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
You are welcome.
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:iconaranaja:
AraNaja Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015   General Artist
Thanks for the fav :)
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:iconichordata:
IchorData Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
You are welcome.
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